Met With the Maker
We met with the maker this morning to discuss Sprout #3. I think everyone at the clinic was shocked to see us back so soon, but we were greeted warmly and being there just felt right.
Found out our embabies were frozen on day 6 and they were rated 2BB and 2AB at the time of freeze. Because they were frozen on day 6 they are not as strong as embryos with those ratings frozen on day 5, but they are really good embryos overall. They are in the same straw, so we will thaw them simultaneously and transfer whatever survives.
I can't cycle until the twins are weaned. As of their fourth monthday they were EBF. Shortly thereafter we introduced formula and they are now taking a full bottle of formula a day. I'm still pumping that missed feed to keep up my supply. Starting with their fifth monthday two of their feeds will be formula, but I will only pump to replace one missed feed. At 6 months three feeds will be replaced and, again, I will only pump one missed feed. If all goes according to plan they will be fully weaned by mid-August, in time for their eighth monthday.
At that point I'm supposed to call my clinic to get on their radar again and to schedule a repeat SHG for mid-September. I guess this is pretty standard, they are just checking to make sure my ute is still in tip top transfer shape after the pregnancy and delivery. My clinic has cycle down time in the end of October, so I will be prepping for either an early October or an end of November transfer.
We discussed the option of a medicated versus a non-medicated FET and elected to go with a medicated cycle since it will give us the most control and will eliminate a lot of the "what if" variables. Thankfully we have drug coverage, so doing a medicated cycle is not an issue financially.
My prep for the FET will be approximately four weeks and will include BCP's, lupron, intramuscular estrogen injections and an oral and vaginal progesterone supplement. We are completely out of IF treatment coverage after our last IVF cycle, so I was elated to find out that our clinic does FET's for free for patients who are out of pocket. I know how fortunate we are to have had coverage and, now, to have the ability to cycle with our remaining embryos at no cost.
Joe and I left the clinic feeling pretty good about everything. We went to a local coffeehouse afterward to talk through the fine grain details and get on the same page with everything. We've decided that we will TTC on our own for a limited amount of time if the FET doesn't work or nothing survives the thaw. My annual gyno appointments are in July, so if I'm not knocked up - via FET or natural conception - by then, I am going to have an IUD put in and I'm going to move on with my life.
At least then we can say that we did everything we could to expand our family. That's not to say that we wouldn't be brokenhearted if a third baby wasn't an option. But neither of us wants to get stuck in the sadness and frustration of IF again when we have these two beautiful lives to celebrate. While I feel a lot of pressure and a strong attachment to our embryos, this cycle is a lot easier on all fronts.
A lot of people have questioned why we would go for our embryos before trying to conceive on our own, and the reason is because we feel that those embryos are already our children. It's hard to look at the embryos we transferred last May - the ones that became Reese and Ryan - and not go back for the others. To know that these beautful babies came from those little cells, and that there are two more just like them waiting for us. Well, there was no question about what we would do.
Others have questioned why we would go back at all. Right now, our family doesn't feel complete. I think if we go through all of this over the next year with no result it will be the kind of closure we need. So that is that. If all goes well, we'll be welcoming a bundle (or, lord help me, two bundles) of joy again next summer. I know we've already been granted a miracle, but I'm praying that there is room for one more.
