Carrying Twins to Term: A Journal

For pictures of my pregnancy, click here.
52 week photo project of the twins.

And since my other kids can't be left out:
52 week photo project of Lauren (Lola).
52 week photo project of Eliza.

May 26, 2010

Waiting for this u/s is so hard. I don't really feel pregnant. I have some cramping here and there, but I haven't spotted at all (thank god) and no other real symptoms besides a ton of bloat.

I'm so anxious. It doesn't help that tomorrow marks the unofficial day of our last m/c. The official m/c wasn't until 6w2d, but the baby stopped developing at 5w3d.

I'm terrified of building myself up and then looking at that u/s screen again and seeing a tiny empty sac. I know I have to just have faith, but it's not always so easy.

May 27, 2010

My ultrasound got moved up by a day. Yes, I know, it's only 24 hours (actually only 21.75 hours), but in IF world that might as well be a year :)

I am up three pounds since my BFP. I know this is water retention and bloat, but being 5 1/2 weeks and up 3 was not something I was mentally prepared for.

May 28, 2010

Hemorrhoids. Awesome. I've always had digestive issues, and this lovely side-effect popped up (no pun intended) last year. Since progesterone constipates me, they are so much worse this week.
I just want to go to the potty like a normal person. I have an Rx that I can take when it gets bad. This is not fun. Not fun at all.

May 29, 2010

Joe told me last  night how much he wanted twins and he has a feeling there are two in there. I asked him if he'd be disappointed if when we got to our u/s next week we only saw one little peanut. He was like, "you know, I thought about that, and I think for a brief second I would be, but once I realized we had a strong healthy baby I'd forget all about that."

We do so much to get KU as IFers that it would be nice to have something that extraordinary come out of the process. But I don't think I could ever be disappointed if we had a healthy baby.

May 31, 2010

I'm drinking about 100 oz of water a day and taking colace and still no love.

The husband found TWO four leaf clovers over the weekend. We pressed them to save them. I hope they are a sign for good ultrasound luck this week. I always thought four leaf clovers were like pots of gold at the end of the rainbow or unicorns, cool ideas but the don't really exist. Who knew?

June 1, 2010

I pooped! for the first time in literally 5 days! POPCORN is the best, huge hugs to my friend who shared that little tidbit.

Today was the first day where work really kicked my butt. By 3 p.m. I was ready to fall over and die. And my boobs are completely out of control. I literally dipped them into my spaghetti sauce last night during dinner and didn't even notice. After dinner I was laying on the couch and the husband started laughing hysterically. My WHOLE under boob (I'm still in a bra so they are nice and high, LOL) was covered in sauce. I guess I really enjoyed dinner...


I'm spotting.

It's dark brown and tinged pink.
I am not feeling any cramping or pain. Still nauseous. I don't really know what to do?
I mean spotting is normal right? Should I just wait until my ultrasound Friday or should I call tomorrow? I'm so upset right now. My nurse is out of town  this week and I love her replacement, but I just feel out of sorts.

June 2, 2010

I talked to my nurse and she said because the spotting tapered off and it wasn't accompanied by cramping I am going to be okay. She said if it starts again, gets darker or I get crampy to give a call and they'll get me in immediately but for now to just stick with Friday.

June 4, 2010

Today was my first ultrasound. I am so excited. It's TWINS! We are thrilled. Both babies measured perfectly at 6w, 4d. Baby A had a heartbeat of 124 and Baby B had a heartbeat of 118.

We feel so incredibly blessed.

June 6, 2010

All the sudden EXHAUSTED. I had a lot of energy up until the last few days, now I only make it a few hours and run out of gas.

June 7, 2010

Just got home from an emergency ultrasound. I started bleeding at work, no cramping or anything just bright red blood. Both babies are fine. Looks like it was a subchorionic hemorrhage at the sight of implantation. Both babies grew (quite a bit!) since Friday and their heartbeats were great at 130 and 142. Both measured great as well.

I ended up yelling at this schmuck in my office who I told FOUR times that I was having an emergency, I couldn't talk and whatever question he had needed to wait until the morning.
Now that all is well I'm more irritated that people don't respect boundaries. What part of I'm having an emergency and I need to leave do you not understand?

Thank god both the babies are fine. This was the worst afternoon and the best afternoon of my life.

And in even better news, my p4 was high enough on Friday that I get to switch to prometrium (oral, 1 pill each night). Today is my last day of tile grout in my underwear (hopefully) forEVER!

June 8, 2010

I've been pretty much spotting or bleeding all day and all last night too. It's dark now (which is helpful) but still scary and quite annoying.

I wore pre-pregnancy pants to work. They fit like a glove at 7 a.m. Five hours later I am holding my breath to stay in them. I am trying to hold out on a bella band, but man this is a losing battle!

I was just looking through my IF timeline on my blog and a year ago to my first ultrasound, last Friday, I was having my HSG. Which was one of the worst experiences of my life pain-wise. And 12 months, to the day, later I was looking at my babies' heartbeats for the first time.

What a trip IF is, just insane.

June 10, 2011

Niki hates Endometrin for reals. I was able to stop taking it for three days. In that three days I dropped 3 pounds. All bloat because that sh!t is the freaking pits. Today after being back on Endometrin for 72 hours, I am up 4 pounds. And no I wasn't being a little piggy. All freaking water weight and bloat again. I hate those effing pills.

Vent over.

June 15, 2011

Told my dad and stepmom about the babies on Thursday at midnight. By 2 a.m. my stepmom posted the news to Facebook. So much for just telling family. The husband and I were planning on coming out fully after our ultrasound this Friday. But now pretty much everyone knows (thanks stepmom!) so we are just going to be done with hiding it.

June 16, 2011

So after feeling pretty great for the last week and thinking I had this nausea thing figured out (eat first thing in the a.m. as soon as I wake up, drink water all day, eat small frequent meals, etc.) last night at 1:30 a.m. I woke up sick as hell.

By 2:45 I was so nauseous that I broke down and took a zofran just so I could go back to bed.
I can't figure out if this is just bad luck or if I ate something that the belly monsters didn't like.

I really don't want to take the zofran unless I absolutely have to and I was really happy that I had started to feel so good :(

June 18, 2010

Being pregnant has turned me into a vegetarian (again). I can't stand the idea of meat lately. When I was in high school and part of college I was a vegetarian. In the last two weeks I've been pulling recipes out of the archives of my brain. Everything is so yummy, but I wonder if I'll ever want to eat steak/chicken/turkey again at this point.


Second ultrasound! Both babies were measuring ahead (overachievers!) and had perfect little heartbeats (almost the same measurement 177 and 178). They had umbilical cords, amniotic sacs, two hemispheres for their brains, we got to see Baby B's spinal cord, little paddle hands and feet for both.
Baby A danced the whole time and Baby B has literally implanted on top of my bladder. The ultrasound was magnificent torture as I watched in amazement while trying not to pee on the nurse :)

June 23, 2010

Headaches. I can't tell what are causing mine. Hormones? Hydration? Something else? I have been taking two tylenol, but I'd like to just figure out what's causing the issue and fix that instead.

June 30, 2010

A year ago this week I triggered for my first ever Clomid cycle.

I think it's pretty cool to look back and reflect on how much changes over the course of a year. Life is an insane roller coaster.

July 1, 2010

So I had my first OB this morning and it was nothing short of hellish. Aside from the fact that the nurse was a moron, she did a pelvic exam where she pushed down to check my uterus and basically caused me to cry from pain.

This was followed by a conversation where I was told I would only have three ultrasounds for the rest of the pregnancy, one at 12 weeks (NT scan), one at 5 months and one at 7 months.

I think the nurse was deluded. I am going to wait until I meet with the OB in two weeks and find out what end is up. If it really is that infrequent I'll get an MFM or a nurse midwife to work in conjunction with the OB's office.

July 2, 2010

Today I am wearing my first belly bag. I must say it's quite comfortable and although I feel frumpy, I don't look frumpy. I can see how some people don't like the panel over their belly though. It is a bit odd to get used to.

July 12, 2010

The husband and I went shopping again yesterday and I started crying in the fitting room. Well, I was crying and laughing at the same time. Crying because of the clothes I was trying on and laughing at myself crying.

I am struggling with finding myself through pregnancy. I feel a little lost right now. I'm so excited for these babies and I love them to pieces already. But I already feel my life changing drastically and I miss parts of myself that I'm slowly having to give up. I know that sounds so selfish. I guess I'm just having trouble finding balance between the idea of being me and the idea of being a mom.

It's not my size or clothes that's bothering me. Although I was crying in the dressing room, I wasn't really crying because of my shape. It's just how drastically my life is changing. I wonder if I will still have time to run races, cook new recipes, have 5 hour brunches with friends, drop everything to visit with family or friends, go on vacation. Things like that.

I think of all the things that make me "me" and already I can see giving some of that up. I think I just need to find a way to able to be both me and a mother, if that even makes sense? I feel like my husband's life is changing, but not as drastically and I don't understand why I see him as different from me.

July 13, 2010

I am SO gassy. It's ridic. At work I get so uncomfortable because there's no where to go to relieve myself that by the time I get home my belly is just full and achy.

I know I'm eating a ton of fruit and veggies now, but this is how I ate BEFORE pregnancy and never had an issue. I can't exactly fart in my cube, but I'm seriously thinking about going to sit in my car twice a day to fart. Ha. I can't even believe I just wrote that, but it's true.

July 14, 2010

Woke up to a ton of old blood. I really thought this was over with. Of course even though it's old when you see that much you freak. The husband is on his way to my office to get my computer so I can work from home today.

I didn't bother to call the doctor because the blood was old and, aside from the normal pulling and stretching I've been feeling lately, I have no cramping and pain. My next appointment is Friday.
Keeping my feet up and drinking water.


After giving it some thought I decided to call, just in case. I'm not really worried as I bled from weeks 6-9 (with 5 or 6 known SCH areas). This is the first time I've had blood since about 9 weeks. I don't know, I think the babies are okay. But I'm glad to go in and be looked at and just see the kiddos again.


I am definitely having a ton of old blood from my SCH. Which is weird because they can't see the SCH's on ultrasound anymore, but they did a cervix check and there was a lot of old blood in there and no abrasion or anything to identify where the blood was coming from. So they best they can guess is it's from the SCH.

They did my NT scan today while I was there so I don't have to come back on Friday. Both babies looked great with their initial fluid measurements so it looks like we are all clear for downs and trisomy 18, their arms/hands and feet were very mobile which the doctor said means that they aren't showing early signs of any congenital defects, and their spines were really long and great (no early signs of spina bifida).

Baby A did some move that looked like an exorcism was taking place which was hysterical and Baby B looked "straight at us" which was kind of scary b/c s/he kind of looked like the skull from the Grateful Dead sticker with the lightening bolt. It was funny, but not very baby looking yet OMG.

July 20, 2010

Headaches have replaced morning sickness. It's like 13 weeks of miserable so far, with the only good parts being actually seeing the babies. I've drank a liter of water already and no relief. I'm so tired of the headaches.

When in the second tri do you actually start feeling GOOD?

Also, I thought baby bumps were round? Like perfectly round. Mine is literally like a speed bump under my belly button with a slope leading down to the speed bump. It's weird.

July 23, 2010

The word of the month is migraines. I never had them before but I have my fourth one in the last two weeks right now. I'm actually about to climb back into bed. I called out of work this morning because it's so bad. They're so strong that I actually feel like I could throw up.

July 28, 2010

I'm so excited for our u/s next week mainly because I think we may be able to find out the babies' gender. I may seriously be upset if they won't tell us. I'm so excited and I have zero inclination or instinct about what they might be. I don't know how I'll make it to 19 weeks (my next, next appt) if they don't tell me! That seems like light years away.

I just started getting a stabbing pain in my heiney (or around that area) about a day or two ago. At first I thought I just stood up funky or something, then I thought maybe it's a pinched nerve, but it feels different than that. A friend gave me the number to a prenatal chiropractor so I'm going to try that out. I'm pretty sure this is sciatica. Another (literal) pregnancy pain in the ass.

Aaaaaand I'm on week three of migraines. I get them about 3-4 times a week. I'm hoping my hormones will level out here in a bit and this insanity will end soon.

August 2, 2010

I could not be hungrier today. I feel ravenous. I just saw a commercial for mashed potatoes and gravy and sent my poor husband off to KFC to get me some. I haven't eaten KFC in decades. I hope it's good. It looked good on TV…

This hunger is so weird. I was barely hungry at all all weekend. On Sunday, I skipped lunch completely and didn't even notice. Today all I can think about is my next meal.


The husband just drove to a KFC that no longer exists. I feel so bad. OMG. Tells you how often we eat at these places. Oh well.

It's probably better that I don't eat a bowl of fast food potatoes before bed anyway.

I am feeling all sorts of pops and flutters. Yesterday it was mostly on my right, today it's on both sides, but more on my left. I can't wait to see the sprouts on ultrasound tomorrow to see where they are and I can't wait to start knowing what it is I'm feeling.

Right now my belly feels like a bag of jiffy pop!

August 3, 2010

15 week ultrasound and we're TEAM...

PURPLE!!! Baby A is a boy, B is a girl. I can't stop smiling.

August 4, 2010

I outgrew my DD's this week. I'm honestly horrified that I am still growing up there.

I used an online measuring guide to figure out how to measure my own chest so I can order new bras and I am now measuring at a 32F. I'm not even sure they make F's in a 32, so I'm willing to buy a 34F, I just don't know where to purchase such a size.

August 11, 2010

I have had to wear a liner during the whole pregnancy because of the SCH, but lately I've had a ton of milky discharge. It actually soaks the liner sometimes. I read in WTEWYE that discharge is normal, but this just seems like A LOT of fluid.

August 18, 2010

The twins are going nuts in there. I keep poking them (lightly) and they hit me back. It's hysterical!

August 23, 2010

I'm probably just having my first worry wart momma moment, but about 3-4 days ago I stopped feeling Baby B move. Our babies are each in their own sac and are on opposite sides of my belly so I can usually distinctly feel them. I used to be able to poke them both and they would both hit me back. Baby A is still quite active (and in fact, that side of my belly is actually much bigger right now). But I haven't felt anything on the left since Wednesday evening.

I'm sure everything is fine, but they're going to check for heartbeats and maybe even do an ultrasound if the doppler can't find her.


Good and bad news. The good news is that both babies were there, heartbeats ticking away. I wasn't feeling movement on one side because both babies are now transverse and Baby B is literally laying on top of Baby A. Her head is on top of his butt and he was kicking her in the belly the whole time. I can't feel her as well as I can feel him because her placenta is in the front and his is in the back, so she's too tiny to kick/punch through the placenta and have me feel her when she's in certain positions (i.e. sideways in my belly).

I have never cried so much in my life. I really thought I was relaxing, but when something feels off you go right back to waiting for the other shoe to drop. And I thought for sure something was seriously wrong with her. I'm glad I went in.

The bad news is that Baby A (our son) has choroid plexus cysts in his brain which are indicators for Downs. His NT scan and bloodwork all came back in the normal range, but the choroid plexus was measured at 12, 15 and now again at 18 weeks. We were offered the option of doing an amnio, but declined because of the risk involved. So basically now we wait and see if they go away. I will have an ultrasound at every visit from here on out and our next appointment is in 4 weeks. I'm praying that these cysts go away by then.

August 25, 2010

My stomach feels stretched to the limit and I have weeks upon weeks to go. My skin just feels so tight!

August 26, 2010

I'm 18w, 3d and I am now the proud owner of stretch marks...on my boobies. Both babies are moving frequently, although baby B's placenta is anterior so I don't feel her as frequently or as aggressively. I'm finally able to eat almost everything again, but now I can't fit any food in me! I still can't stomach onions or grilled foods. Weird? Yes, completely. I agree. My belly button is part flat, part outtie.

August 27, 2010

My legs have started swelling. Not my feet. I'm apparently past feet. My farking calves swelled tonight while I was at dinner. Granted, I was up at 5:45 this morning and go-go-going until just about 20 minutes ago, but seriously? It felt like they were going to burst. The husband rubbed my legs for me and now I'm laying with them elevated. For cripes sake. I feel like it's too early for this kind of swelling.

I'm also have a ton of under belly pressure, like under my belly button and toward my pubic bone. I feel pressure there frequently and if I've been sitting for a long time I get cramps that feel like I would get a few days before AF would start. I'm not too worried, as the babies were looking good on Monday and I have no spotting or increase in fluid. I just wish that the pressure I was feeling wasn't so close to the exit door and would like some reassurance that I'm not the only one experiencing this.

August 30, 2010

The pelvic pressure and cramping is unreal, I'm actually starting to think what I'm feeling cannot be normal. I have really heavy cramps and so much lower belly pressure that yesterday I was holding the bottom of my belly up while I was walking to relieve some of the pain. I can feel the cramping down the front of my thighs.

I was literally just at the OB a week ago today, if this doesn't let up by Wednesday - even just a little bit - I'm going to call and see if I can go in. I hate feeling like the hysterical pregnant chick, but I haven't had my cervical length checked yet at all, and this cramping is pretty constant and painful.
I've been watching for an increase in discharge, spotting, bleeding, but I've had nothing and thankfully no Braxton Hicks or otherwise. But really does EVERYONE feel this??? How do you pregnant people not go insane?

September 1, 2010

Oh poop. Literally. When I bear down to go to the bathroom I'm creating such a painful c amount of pressure in my belly/lower belly. Even when I *have* to go it hurts to get all my business taken care of. I seriously feel like I am going to end up being one of those ladies that gives birth to a kid in a toilet (like on I didn't know I was pregnant...)

September 2, 2010

I'm 20w, 3d. The kiddos are moving all.the.time. And the punches are getting harder! My belly button is flat as a pancake! I hit my half-baked point AND we got shopped for a minivan *gasp* after testing out over a dozen crossovers and wagons it seems like it's the only thing that makes sense. If you're going to get a new car, I highly recommend taking your stroller with you. We were shocked at how many cars either couldn't fit our stroller or had no storage room left after the stroller went in.

September 7, 2010

I put in my notice at work today...and then I started to cry. I wasn't expecting to be all emotional about it. My job is a PITA, but I love my boss, so it was hard to break the news to her. Especially when she started talking about working around my schedule and the babies.

The husband is being odd tonight too. We've talked for A LONG TIME about me not returning to work, but I think now that there's a finite end to my salary it put a lot of pressure on him. I know the decision I made is the right one, and I know I'll feel better about this than I would have if I left our kids with a nanny. I guess I just expected to feel more excited and/or relieved than I do. 

September 9, 2010

I finally hit 20 weeks. I'm so freaking excited that I have less weeks in front of me than I do behind me. I never thought that we would be here and to be halfway through is completely unreal.

September 14, 2010

Ugh, I woke up feeling like I got my ass kicked. I just want to take two tylenol and crawl back in bed.  

September 15, 2010

Today is the first time the scale upset me. I'm up 25 pounds already. I promised myself I wouldn't get frustrated with the weight gain, and up until today I hadn't, but since week 19 I've gained 2 lbs a week instead of 1. I'm not "eating for three" and my diet is still really healthy, so I'm a little shocked at the big jump. I don't feel huge or whatever, it's just a little shocking to have gained a full singleton pregnancy halfway through a twin pregnancy.

September 21, 2010

Twin pregnancy: weeks 24-28. My OB indicated that things really start to get "rough" between weeks 24 and 28 for twin mamas, but I never asked her to explain why. I've just been thinking about it ever since.

I wonder what changes during those weeks that increases the stress of the pregnancy? Is it just the (more) rapid weight gain of the babies combined with the gestational size of your belly?
I'm 22 weeks right now, but my belly is measuring 28 weeks already so I can see how this is going to start to get uncomfortable in the next month (or three).

October 1, 2010

I'm 23w, 4d and my belly button is flat on it's way out. At our scan last week baby boy's CPC's had resolved themselves so he is now 100% healthy. YAY. And my cervix was measuring 3cm, and was thick and closed. So far aside from muscle soreness in my back, I feel pretty darn good. Both babies were over a pound.

October 7, 2010

I'm 24w, 3d. I somehow volunteered myself to work past my last official day. I'm really looking forward to retiring, if I'd ever stop feeling bad for leaving my job this would actually be a reality.

The babies are still doing well, kicking stronger and harder than ever. I still feel great 94% of the time. The other 6% my belly feels heavy and/or my back is tired. I'm also noticing some heavy swelling in my legs and such for the first time this week. 

October 18, 2010

"If you feel really pregnant it's b/c you are" -- that's what my OB said to me today! I am measuring 35 weeks and packing 4.5 pounds of baby already. So proud of my little chunkers!

Baby A was 2 lbs, 6 oz and Baby B was 2 lbs, 1 oz. Both are still measuring about a week and a half ahead and both are still head down. Things are getting so tight in there that they said they probably won't turn again, so it looks like I will get to deliver vaginally as long as I don't go into preterm labor!
I'm super excited. Baby B was being an imp again (hands over face) but we got one good picture of our son and I think he's adorable, if I do say so myself.

October 24, 2010

Over the last few days I just feel like this whole pregnancy is catching up to me. My belly feels too big and weighs too much and I'm ready to be done even though I know I have another 9 weeks (at least) that I need to shoot for. Last Monday I was taking a 60 minute spin class and last night just going to the grocery store for an hour felt like an effort. It was literally that quick.

October 26, 2010

One of the babies is so low that I feel punches on the inside of my butt (like at the hole) and in the vag and it makes me jump out of my skin. Most of the kicks and punches I've gotten somewhat used to, but these are never normal to me. And they scare me. Like, if you're punching me there exactly HOW close are you to falling out? 

October 29, 2010

I am freaking starving this week. Like get the eff out of my way before I eat you starving. We had dinner last night at 6ish and by 9:45 I was back in the kitchen ready for dinner, take 2.

I'm trying not to give in to the hunger because I don't want to gain 598375948375 pounds with this pregnancy, but food is literally all I can think about sometimes.

This whole pregnancy has been pretty normal, like I haven't felt out of control. But all of a sudden this hunger is just ridiculous. Is this just the twins taking everything I'm putting in? Is it a phase? A growth spurt? WTF? 

October 30, 2010

I'm f*cking miserable today.

I was doing awesome up until week 27 and now I'm so goddamn uncomfortable. My hips hurt so freaking bad and the bottom of my belly aches. It hurts to lay on my side because my hips hurt so bad. I actually had to find a way to lay on my stomach last night just to get some sleep.

I'm hungry all.the.time. and I feel like an enormous beast and I'm emotional as all hell right now. I think mostly because I'm afraid at how much worse this is going to get over the next few weeks.
I love my babies, I want to keep them in as long as possible for their health, blah blah blah, but I don't want to feel this way anymore and I feel guilty for saying that.

I pretty much have burst into tears about 5 times today for no reason. And I've only cried two other times during this whole pregnancy. I hope it gets better. I can't do this for another 10 weeks.

November 2, 2010

We had our 28 week ultrasound and visit today and both babies are still doing great. Baby A is 3 pounds 1 ounce and Baby B is 2 pounds 10 ounces.

A is a super long baby, his head starts in my lower pelvis and his feet stretch all the way to my ribs. Poor little B is curled up like a frog on a lily pad. Her feet are tucked under her butt and her hands protect her head; we don't blame her for protecting herself...her brother kicked and punched her the whole time!

They each gained 3/4 of a pound in two weeks :) fat babies, and they're both still measuring ahead. Currently, I am carrying around 7 pound 2 ounces of baby and amniotic fluid not including their sacs or anything else. Both are still head down too.

I passed my 1 hour glucose test, my blood pressure is still really low (110/58) and my gain is good (up 32 pounds so far).

My OB's office has four delivering physicians, I purposely scheduled today's appointment with one of the doctors I haven't met yet. My next appointment is at 30.5 weeks and today's doctor ordered nothing more than an in office check with a doppler. I'm pretty upset about this, I feel like a doppler check at 30.5 weeks is useless. But what do I know?

I asked for a cervical length ultrasound and she said that nothing would indicate that a CL check is necessary. I responded with I'll be nearly 31 weeks pregnant with twins who are gaining approximately a pound every two weeks, how is a length check NOT necessary. And she basically flat out told me there's no reason I need to have one.

I left the appointment, got in my car and started to cry. I don't want a full ultrasound, but I feel like knowing that they are secure up there and doing well at this stage is very important.


Things I sit awake pondering...

Was the husband always this gassy at night? Is it possible that when I'm sleeping restfully I don't notice? Seriously, he either wakes me up with his farts lately, or I sit here wide awake anyway (thank you third tri) and wonder how I missed this for the last ten years?!

I've talked to him about it so many times over the last 7 months that he offered to sleep in the guest bedroom which just made me feel bad.

November 4, 2010

I hate the way my belly feels when it rests on my lap. And it pretty much rests on my lap all.the.time.
It's warm and heavy and it moves. The feeling is generally gross.

Also, of note, I can no longer eat at a restaurant. My belly makes me have to sit so far from the table that in order to get the food from the plate to my face I need to lift the plate off the table. Not cute.

November 5, 2010

Under belly soreness. That is all.

November 11, 2010

I COMPLETELY forgot that I'm having maternity pictures done today!

Thank goodness the photographer emailed me. Of course I look like 10 pounds of shiit in a 5 pound bag right now, but hopefully I can pull it together before this afternoon.

November 12, 2010

Another really rough night. My knees are swelling, I had hip pain and leg tremors. Awful. At about 3 a.m. I couldn't take it anymore and took two tylenol and an extra prenatal vitamin.

I think I need to find a maternity swim suit and hit the YMCA pool to help with gravity, get moving and maybe help circulate some bloodflow.

November 14, 2010

I had to fight for a cervical length check at tomorrow's appointment and conceded on having a growth ultrasound. I don't really care how "big" the babies are per se, but I'm frustrated that I won't know their positions, which I know is really stupid.

I feel like our daughter has turned, and would love to know for sure. My cervical length check is transvag, so there's no cheating either. It's going to be a long journey to 32 weeks when I can see where they are again. I'm so glad to be able to go and discuss all these other crazy things I've been feeling though. I swear some days it feels like my son is going to walk right out of there on his own.

November 15, 2010

I'm so glad I advocated for myself after my 28 week appointment! The doctor for that appointment told me it wasn't medically necessary to have a repeat cervical length check at 30w and my gut told me she was wrong. Apparently the funneling and shortening that they saw at my ultrasound was a bigger deal than they first thought. I called the office three times until I got my regular OB on the phone and she fixed the appointment. I'm so glad I was persistent now.

My regular OB just called me and said she was looking at my ultrasound results again and decided to bring me back in next week instead of waiting two. I can maintain normal activities, but I'm not allowed to swim anymore. I know it sounds silly but I'm sad about that only because it helped with my swelling and stuff. I hope that this isn't more serious than we initially thought and that I don't have any more change over the next week.

November 17, 2010

Our twins are literally side by side. Heads, tummies, bodies, butts, and legs would be intertwined if they weren't in separate sacs. Now that they are "big enough" I can tell the difference between butt and legs. Their legs move NON-STOP and it feels like ziti or thick spaghetti moving around in there.

November 20, 2010

I started feeling cramps around 2 this afternoon, by 3:30 the cramping was accompanied by sharp pains. I tried drinking water and laying on my side. When it was still happening at 4:30 and getting more intense I called my OB and she sent us to labor and delivery.

We got there around 6 and I was contracting heavily. They put the fetal monitors on the twins and a monitor on me as well. The babies were really active and had strong heart rates. Soon after they started an IV and did an internal exam, I was only a fingertip dilated.

By 8 my contractions slowed down and I had no pains. They ran an FFN and Group B Strep. FFN came out negative. They also gave me a steroid shot, just in case. The pain subsided and although I'm still contracting, I can't feel them. So that's okay. I guess it's normal to contract, it's just contractions with bleeding/pain/fluid that are bad. Anyway, they had me finish out my IV fluids and I have to go in tomorrow for a second steroid shot. I have another OB appointment on Monday and I'm so thankful for that.

Again, SO glad I advocated for the cervical length check again at 30 weeks and that my doctor (my real OB that's been following me) is so awesome. She's taken my pregnancy so seriously and I feel like we're in good hands.

November 22, 2010

I'm 31 weeks and the babies are snug as bugs. My funneling hasn't increased and though my cervix shortened (to 2.4 from 2.6) I'm still long for 31 weeks with twins.

They have lots of fluid and they are movers and shakers. Our daughter definitely has hair!! (sorry, that excites me a lot) and our son *looks like* he has hair, but he's so low it's hard to tell.

We have a plan for if/when I go into preterm labor again. Our doctor is pushing us to 37 weeks but is so proud of us for almost hitting 32. I thought she was going to squeal over it :) Love her. Next week is another cervical length check and a growth scan (excited!). And now I'm back to my previously uninterrupted bed rest, which, I'm actually thankful to be on this week.  

November 27, 2010

I'm not moving, yet I'm out of breath and/or gasping for air. My heart will just race and I'm literally doing nothing but sitting on the couch. At times I'm even gasping for air. I've tried switching positions, but that doesn't seem to be the issue.  

November 28, 2010

I think I got my first stretchie :(

It's really small and near my belly button, at first I thought it was just skin irritation, but it hasn't gone away and it's been 4ish days.

I'm not going to lie, I'm kind of sad about this. I haven't gained at all since week 30 (in fact, this week I lost a pound) so I thought maybe I would avoid the stretch marks. Please don't ask my why the number on the scale equates to a stretch mark in my head. In comparing my 28 week belly to my 32 week belly it actually doesn't look any bigger, but I think I'm growing width wise and not outwards anymore, which would make sense given where this stretch mark is located and its shape (it actually is across my belly and not up and down).

I hope this guy ends up being the lone ranger, but I don't think I'll be that lucky.


I'm in the final stretch and clothes are not fitting. I'm still doing okay with bottoms because I can fold the demi panel under my belly, but I'm struggling to find tops that fit and look okay. My belly is getting wider and pointier now. If I put on larger size maternity shirts the belly is covered but the length and fit is really frumpy. If I wear the shirts that fit me everywhere else my belly hangs out the bottom of the front. I seem to be growing by the hour now.

November 29, 2010

My stretchie grew brothers. About 20 of them. I almost shiit myself today. I guess he got offended that I called him little and thought he was a vein at first so he threw a party with two dozen of his closest friends.

My mom is covered in stretch marks from carrying me, so I guess I'm not surprised. I'm not going to lie, I cried a lot this morning. I know the twins are worth it, I'm not even arguing that, I just wish I could have them and my old belly back too.


Today was my 32 week OB visit, I have two four pound babies! I'm so freaking excited that they are so big!

My son's fluid was on the low side so they have us coming back again in a week to do a repeat fluid scan and an NST. Part of the problem is he is so low that they have to scan his head measurement internally, making it hard to determine how much fluid may really be left in there. Hopefully next week we'll see that it's not really an issue.

As for the heart-racing, problems breathing. The husband has been keeping track of my BPM and they are in the normal range. My doctor said it's just from the babies pushing up on my diaphragm, not shocking considering I'm measuring 41 weeks today. Wowza.

November 30, 2010

I seriously think my son is going to fall out. He's banging on the trap door so hard today. I was in the grocery store and literally had to stop walking because it felt like he had broken free twice. This can't be normal to feel like they are so close to the outside while they're on the inside.

My cervix is holding strong, but good lord, I feel like if I fart he'll pop out these days.

December 2, 2010

Rash over my belly, just in the areas where the skin is starting to break into stretch marks. Not red, just raised bumps. Itchy as fcuk. If it is PUPPPS (which I'm thinking it is) I am not sure there's even anything they can do to help me.

December 3, 2010

So, it's PUPPPS. I have a CVS bag filled with Caladryl and Benadryl. I'm super excited too, because the doctor told me it takes up to 2 weeks postpartum for the rash to go away. So if I make it another 4 weeks with the pregnancy I will have PUPPPS for 6 weeks. YAY!

Eff you third tri. Eff you.

December 6, 2010

And I'm 33 weeks.

Remember Waco, TX and the Waco jokes? Waco = we ain't coming out. Yup, suddenly my son has somehow managed to move up nearly 3 inches and his head could be seen on the external monitor for the first time in six weeks. My cervix hasn't changed, no more funneling. It's like someone popped a cork in me or something. Looks like I'll definitely make it to 35 weeks, I even think 38 is a possibility after this appointment.

The babies are 4.5 lbs and 4.75 lbs. Both are breathing and swallowing and do.not.stop.moving.
And my daughter showed us her face for the first time today (we haven't seen her since week 15). I'm in love, so, so in love.

December 5, 2010

I wish I could have another fFN. My 2 weeks window from the last one was up yesterday and I selfishly want another fFN now so I know if it's possible that the twins might show between 33 and 35 weeks.

I keep feeling all sorts of weird crap - cramping, nausea, contracting, lord knows what's going on in there, and I don't know what's what.

My belly still hasn't dropped, but my kids are so low that I don't know if I'd notice anyway?

December 13, 2010

My kids are never coming out. I had my 34 wk OB visit today. Woke up all excited because I *thought* I was contracting. They got me on the NST machine and I had ONE contraction in 35 minutes. My silly babies kicked the monitors off a million times, they kicked the nurses holding the monitors and made the whole NST last way longer than it needed to.

My BP is great, my swelling is normal, I have no protein in my urine. Nothing. I'm 100% healthy and so are they (thankfully). We've determined that they're never coming out. I'm going to be pregnant forever.

When I hit 37 weeks my doctor will "talk about" doing an induction after week 38. So....I'm probably going to have them in mid-January. I'm super excited about big, fat, term, healthy babies. But OMG, I really can't even imagine being pregnant for another month. 

December 25, 2010

19 days or less, but it feels like forever. I'm mentally struggling to get over the hurdle of these last few weeks. Eight days away from term twins (YAY). At my appointment next week they'll set my induction (for after 38 weeks) if the babies don't come on their own.

I'm making zero progress and I'm so ready to be on the other side of this pregnancy. Not just because I feel big and it's hard to get around, but because we really *are* ready. I swear this last stretch seems to be taking FORever. Since we spent the holidays alone (everyone is saving their time off to travel when the babies are here) it seems like the time is actually going slower.

December 29, 2010

I may die today. I'm alternating between shiiting and dry heaving. If I don't die on my own, I may kill myself. The freaking end S.U.C.K.S.

And let me just say that I don't leave the house often enough (read: ever) so there's no chance that I have the idiot stomach bug going around. 

December 30, 2010

I'm back from the progress. My next appointment is Wednesday for an NST and internal. I also made an appointment for the Monday after that (38 weeks exactly) where they will do another NST and an internal again, at that appointment they will do a membrane sweep and if I don't go into labor on my own in my 38th week, they will set an induction date for my 39th week if my cervix is favorable. looks like I'm going to be here for a while. I'm so relieved to have full term babies and not have to even consider things like the NICU or consequences, etc. I'm actually getting more nervous about what happens after they come, two babies at once. OMG. Oh, and I'm trying not to think about what it would mean to be pregnant for another 3 weeks. 

January 5, 2011

37.2 week OB visit ...

So I got to my OB visit this morning after not sleeping a wink last night. They strapped me into the NST machine and the babies freaked (per usual) and kicked mercilessly at the pucks. They are very strong and healthy and I'm very proud of them.

That's when the nurse monitoring me told me that all of the OB's were delivering babies and that I would be seen by an NP. I asked about my internal, my membrane sweep and my induction date and she told me that there was no reason to discuss these things this week since I was only 37 weeks along and they can't even be sure that my EDD is correct. She finished up by saying many twin pregnancies go 40 weeks. And, ladies, that's when I freaked the fcuk out. I told the nurse that we knew down the the second when I conceived since I conceived through IVF. I said that the OB last week promised me a membrane sweep and promised me an induction date and she needed to figure out how to get me one. LOL.

Ten minutes later I was in a private room waiting for the NP for my first internal. The NP walked in and was aloof and told me that if I was carrying two breech babies that they'd be delivering me this week, but since my babies are vertex they want to wait it out and I need to just sit tight and relax. And that's when I started crying for the third time (there was a bit of crying while I was waiting to be seen by the NP).

I explained that I'm physically and mentally exhausted and that I want the babies to be healthy but that I need an end date and that all I was asking for is to have my membranes swept on Monday. And then I started crying hysterically. I mean really, I am embarrassed at what a wreck I was now that I'm home, fed and in bed.

Anyway, she did my internal and I'm completely effaced and 2 cm dilated. If I don't go into labor on my own between now and then, they will sweep my membranes on Monday. That *should* induce labor within 72 hours. And if it doesn't they'll talk to me about a chemical induction.

Fingers crossed that Monday does the trick. I swear I'm stronger than this this is making me out to be, but the idea of being THIS pregnant for another three weeks was more than I could bear.

January 10, 2011

I’m the queen of bullshit contractions!

I mean really. They told me to call and go in when they were so strong that I can't talk through them and 10 minutes or less apart. I'm contracting like a wild woman and on a scale of 1 to 10 they are like a 1.25. 

I ended up in L&D last night with contractions that were 7-12 minutes apart for several hours. They never progressed and my OB gave the labor and delivery staff permission to induce me with pit if I wanted to stay or I could go home. I was nervous about being induced and just want the twins to be as big and healthy as possible so I elected to go home.

I had my 38 week OB today. I'm still 100% effaced and 2cm dilated. My OB is wonderful and talked us through all of the options. She stripped my membranes and she's pretty sure I'll go into labor in the next 24 hours.

Just in case, they scheduled an u/s tomorrow afternoon to check the twins' fluid and weights. Now that I am term we run into the possibility of my uterus not being able to adequately supply two babies with enough blood and nutrients (or possibly having the babies run out of fluid/room).

So if I don't go into labor on my own in the next day, they will set my chemical induction date at tomorrow's appointment and I'll have these babies on either Wednesday or Thursday.

I'm so excited and SO ready. Full term babies. I can't believe how far I made it.

January 11, 2011

I'm in labor and delivery being induced right now :)

They let me eat first and started an IV line at 5 p.m., I get my first low dose of pitocin at 9. They're hoping that I'll deliver tomorrow, but there's a good chance that I'll deliver tonight/overnight as well.

So I have four hours to kill before this party gets started...I'm so anxious!

January 12, 2011

So I've been in labor now for 14 hours. This is nothing like I thought it would be. It's very slow going. I'm up to 11 ml/hr of pitocin now. They broke my water a little over an hour ago. Contractions every 2-3 minutes, but nothing that's making a baby come out.

Our hospital is so awesome. All of the labor and delivery nurses that we took classes from have come by to cheer us on and everyone is so supportive of our vaginal delivery.

I'm shocked at how slow this is going, but they told me slow and steady wins the race :)


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