A Wonderful Surprise
Today my husband found 24 pictures on his camera. Pictures I had no idea were taken. Pictures of the twins' delivery. Because the babies were thought to be IUGR, I was induced and there were a lot of people in the delivery room with us. They whisked the babies away as soon as they entered the world and it was well over an hour before I saw Ryan (Baby A) for the first time. I heard him cry, but didn't physically see him for what felt like an eternity. I figured my husband just wasn't able to get pictures because the doctors were concerned with the babies' health and size. Besides, I was too busy pushing Reese out and then too busy waiting to hear their weights and their cries and that they were safe and healthy to care about pictures.
I now have 24 wonderful images documenting the best day of my life so far. I am so thankful for each and every one of them. I am so thankful to my husband for taking them. I can't believe this was already 63 days ago. It honestly feels like it just happened yesterday.
Exactly 13 months ago to the day, I had a D&C bringing my first pregnancy to a bitter and painful end. We were forced to take a break while my body healed. There were so many conversations about what we would do next. How many IVF's we would suffer through. How many more losses could we possibly endure. My heart was so broken and my life felt so empty.
We agreed that we would do one more round of IVF and if it didn't work out or if I lost another baby we would walk away and move forward living our lives child-free. We talked about cashing in my husband's 401K, selling our house in the 'burbs, selling all of our possessions and sailing around the world for a year. We decided we'd pick whichever country we liked the most at the end of that year and permanently relocate there. We figured there was no need for houses and retirement savings and careers if we had no children to provide for; we'd just travel and live and follow our hearts in a different direction.
I can't believe I ever thought a trip around the world could ever compare to this journey that I'm now on; that I ever thought there was a possible replacement or substitution for being a mommy. The last two months of my life have been the best two months of my life. I don't know why I was given such a beautiful gift, but I am thankful for it every second of every day. What a wonderful year 2011 has been.
