(Alice in Wonderland)
Sorry for the English teacher moment. That stuff just sticks with you years after you stop teaching. One of my favorite books. I'm reading it again, and it's just so stinkin' apropos.
Today I am 80 days from where I started. I cannot believe 80 days have passed. So much has happened, so much time, and yet nothing has changed. But everything is different. My D&C is scheduled for Tuesday, day 86, and finally there will be closure.
IF has changed me in many ways, some differences are so subtle that I don't even notice them anymore. And others, well others make me feel completely disconnected from the person I used to be.
I need some time off from shots and stress and clinics. People say I'll know when I'm ready to do this again. And I agree, and right now I know I'm not ready.
Instead, I want to refocus on myself. Get my old body back, my old spirit back and my old self back. Over the last year I have gained 7 pounds. I can't blame that on IF, I blame it on emotional eating, depression, and all the excuses I made that kept me out of the gym most days.
Last weekend I went back to my old ways. I'm sparking again, tracking my food and exercise and I'm dropping back down to my normal size. It's been a week, I've lost 1.5 pounds and just from the change in my diet I already feel more energized. Husband and I are eating clean and cooking everything, which should help me with some of my 2010 Goals.
Also on my list for this year was the goal of running one road race each month from April to September. I've gone ahead and registered for all of my races. I was also really inspired by Dusty's running goal and accomplishment last year, so I set my own goal to run 500 miles in 2010. It sounds like a lot, but it shakes down to about 11.5 miles a week. Totally doable. And it will help prepare me for my road races.
Mainly, I just want to take some time and focus on myself and the things that make me happy. To help motivate myself, I've added our weekly menus, my running goal, my weight loss goal, my races and all of my 2010 goals to the sidebars and footer bar of my blog. If this doesn't keep me honest, nothing will.