day seven

Today I am thankful... that Joe was able to put in a bulk contract and is finally recovering at work that my sister sounded so happy when I talked to her earlier today that my puppy knows how to give kisses on command :) I've been needing a lot of those lately. So...I've been really bad at this this week, but it was an eye opening experience in two ways. The first being that I was totally in denial that I eat too much too often, but now here it is in print and I can't deny the truth. The second is that I can tie some strong emotions to the days I went nuts with food making me (I guess?) an emotional eater. On days when I was dealing with issues surrounding my mom or an issue with Joe I ate when I wasn't even hungry. This has to stop. I'm trying to come up with a new strategy for it, but I keep reading these bullshit ideas like "go for a walk" "drink a glass of water" "sit and examine why you're eating before you do". Um, go to hell. I'm not walking at 10 p.m. in the dark. I'm already struggling to drink 6 glasses of water a day, I'm not going to force down more. Oh and if I had full control over my emotions when I am mindlessly stuffing my face I WOULDN'T BE AN EMOTIONAL EATER. Instead, I am joining a pilates center and I am going to enroll at a class to learn to sew at Michaels and I think having some things that I do just for me will help make me feel a little more whole again. I love my life and I love my marriage, but it's just so easy to start taking care of everyone else and lose yourself. I've kind of forgotten who I am lately. Hopefully this works. But all in all week one was a flop :)