So Much Harder than I Thought

Cycling for IVF is so much harder than I thought it would be. I really wasn't expecting the emotional drain or the total mind f*ck that comes along with this experience. Every number and statistic makes you lose your mind or doubt your ability to conceive.

My 2nd follie scan was this morning - I went from 3 follies on Wednesday to SIX today (smallest is 12 and largest is 20). I started crying at the RE's office. All I have to compare my cycle to is how others on IF message boards and blogs have responded during their own cycles. I read about girls who have 12, 20 and 30+ follicles by the time of trigger. And my six just seemed so insignificant.

Tonight is my final round of stims and I trigger tomorrow with an ER on Tuesday. I wish I could say that I was excited, but right now I just feel so drained.